changing fluids in the dark

so NOT what you think...

A few weeks ago, and after months of prompting from the spousal unit, I decided to check on the fluid levels of my red 2004 PT Cruiser. I noted that the oil was low and that I was out of windshield wiper fluid. It was getting dark fast and as I did not have sufficient exterior lighting, I took an educated guess. This dipstick was clearly for oil, this cap is for the powersteering, WELL, the windshield wiper fluid is traditionally on the top right side when you are looking at the engine block, that MUST be it. I beamed with pride as I took care of my sacred MAN duty of maintaining my jelopy whose secret name was SEX MACHINE . My wife can pretend the car's name is Otis (Redding) all she likes. Anyhow, I tested the windshield wiper fluid the next day as it was raining and I needed to clear the detritus and scum from off my glass. I pulled on the lever and nothing. A flaccid stream of cleaning fluid dribbled out weakly. "Son of a bitch," I exclaimed ! Hmmm. Perhaps its a little cold this morning and the fluid is somewhat frozen at the nozzle opening. Yes, that's the ticket... Friday, I finally got around to putting more oil in the car as it was bone dry. The car chugged 2 pints of oil and licked its lips begging for more. In the light of day I was able to see much more clearly at the gauges and meters. Here's the oil, power steering, windshield wiper fluid container on the LEFT hand side. Hold the phone... I flipped open the cap in which I had put the wiper fluid and noted that it was bracking brown and smelled of oil and Windex. The cap on the container had an admonition to clean the cap before putting it back on. I make a mad dash for my glove box where the Warranty and Owner's manual resides, flip the pages and come to realize that I put wiper fluid on the BRAKE container. I quickly called up my neighbor and mechanic Jimmy James . "Jimbo Baby? This is Stone Jackson. Well, it looks like I've done a boneheads thing and need your help. Don't worry nothing ILLEGAL, mind you..."

Jimbo laughs. I tell what I did and ask him if its something I should be worried about. He said, "well, it ain't good. You need to get that stuff out there and replace the brake fluid. Have your brakes been feeling kind of spongy?"

I retorted that they did feel spongy and that I had been driving 34 miles to Redmond each way and back to get to work. Well, thanks to this boy genius, I need to drop of the Cruiser this morning at 11 am so that they can hoist up on his hydraulics set up to bleed the fluid that's in the brake lines. Keeping the wiper fluid in there can lead to corroded lines and brake failure, which=death.

So, kids, remember when its time to change fluids, make sure you have enough light, m kay? There's no rush. Do it right the first time.